If the holidays feel heavy this year, you are not the only one

The holidays are supposed to be merry and bright. For a lot of us, they are also the time of year we feel an empty chair the most.

Maybe you lost someone. Maybe this is your first holiday without someone you love. Maybe it has been years, and it still hurts. Maybe you are surrounded by people and still feel alone. Whatever you are carrying into this season, you are not the only one carrying it.

Why the season can feel so heavy

The numbers back up what so many of us feel. In the American Psychiatric Association's November 2025 Healthy Minds Poll, 48% of adults said grief or missing someone was a top holiday worry. That came in ahead of money and gifts. Almost one in three named loneliness.

41% of adults expected more holiday stress than the year before, up from 28% in 2024. And in a LifeStance Health survey, 51% said they feel lonely during the holidays even when they are with people they love.

You may have heard that suicide rises during the holidays. It does not. CDC data show December actually has the lowest daily suicide rate of the year. But the sadness, grief and isolation are real, and they deserve care. Suicide is a risk all year long, and only about 12% of adults can recall the number for the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline without help. So here it is: call or text 988, any time.

Why this matters to me

Years ago, I worked with a man I came to care about deeply. When his children were very young, he lost his wife to suicide. He raised those kids on his own, and he carried that grief every single day, mostly where no one could see it.

We grew close during the same years I was learning about trauma informed care. He taught me more than any training did about how much pain a person can hold while still showing up for work, for his kids, for everyone else.

A few years after I left that job, we lost him to suicide too. I still think about his children, and about every holiday table that has an empty chair.

This year, loss is close to home for me in a new way. It is my first Christmas without one of my sisters. I am feeling that loss, and I am learning to carry it, just like so many of you.

That is why I do this work. It is why we built Cozy Up. I told a friend the other day that if it helps even five people, that is enough for me. I meant it.

A cozy place, no explanations needed

Cozy Up is a free holiday check-in from WeHealUS®. Nobody needs to know what is going on with you to use it. It is simply a space for a little reprieve, a little reflection, some encouragement and connection, and yes, some holiday fun along the way.

You pick a buddy, a snowman or a mug of cocoa, and every small act of self-care adds a piece. Take a breath. Name a feeling. Reach out to someone you love. Do something kind and earn a gold star.

It works on your phone, it is for all ages, and nothing you answer is saved or sent. Do one quest or all eleven. There is no wrong way to do this.

What you can do this season

1. Make room for your grief. Set a place, light a candle, or share a story about the person you miss. Missing someone is a sign of love.
2. Check on your people. Especially the ones who seem fine. A two-line text can mean more than you know.
3. Take a few minutes for you. Try Cozy Up on a break, before bed, or with your kids.
4. Save 988 in your phone. For yourself, or for someone you love.

Sources

• American Psychiatric Association, Healthy Minds Poll, November 2025
• LifeStance Health, 2025 Holiday Mental Health Report
• Annenberg Public Policy Center, holiday suicide data and 988 recall, 2025